RELATIVE’S chapter 160

My father was the oldest of seven children. We visited many of them at Emporium, Kansas when I was young. After my early teen years, I had never seen any of them or heard anything about them. Then out of the blue I got a letter from my aunt Gladys then living in Van Nuys, CA. As it turned out, my mother also had a brother in the same area. I was surprised to learn about mom’s LA brother, since I thought there was only one – uncle Carl in Kansas. I could not dredge up a memory of uncle Clarence.

Because there had been no contact with any of my aunts and uncles for nearly twenty years, I was not expecting any to turn up in my life, but a letter came from my aunt Gladys. She wanted to see us and meet my family. I was surprised to learn that uncle dean was a pastor in a Baptist church in Van Nuys, CA. The letter requested that we call and make arrangements to come and have a meal with them.

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t know these people from a whole in the ground, Van Nuys was a long ways from where we lived in Buena Park, would our children be comfortable there, and most important – I didn’t want to go.

Della was always much wiser than I when assessing the right response to social situations and she felt we ought to go. “Ought to” was not strong enough. We needed to go and I should call and set up a date. I wanted her to call but she insisted that it was my relative and I should call. She didn’t know them at all. Well, neither did I, but I did call. We set a date for a Friday night and got directions.

Their house was nearly 40 miles away up I-5 through Los Angeles and onto the 101. It took over 1½ hour’s to get there. I felt like it was a mistake to make the trip and I hated the traffic. In the end we got a babysitter and did not take the children.

They lived in a very nice neighborhood and were very friendly and warmly receptive. The home was filled with delicate nick-knacks and certainly no place for preschoolers. They never had children of their own. Conversation was general and very pleasant. Gladys updated up on dads brothers and sisters. While we listened patiently I could not remember one from the other. My only real memory was of Uncle Leroy, the youngest. I had seen him in an army uniform giving his little dog beer and everyone laughing as the dog staggered around drunk. All I recalled confusion about why the dog could barely stand up. I only learned about the beer later.

First Baptist circa 1970

I learned that uncle Dean pastored a Baptist church only fourth blocks from the 6000 member First Baptist Church. His church was less than 200. I heard all about a ministry under the shadow of a giant. He was not happy.

At supper I learned the real reason for our visit. Gladys wanted to know why my dad never wrote her. How was I supposed to know? I did ask how she knew I was in that area. Apparently my mother wrote a brief note asking how close we were to them. Gladys told her very close. Right!

She went on and on about the failings of my father until I wanted to scream and run out of the house. She asked many questions I could not answer. It appeared that she believe I was holding out on her. But dad never talked about his siblings. Mom only mentioned that they were not close. I did not know why, but was getting a pretty good idea. I would have hide from her as well, and tried to after that.

We did not visit again and they never came to Buena Park. However we began a correspondence relationship that lasted about ten years, until her husband passed away.  He had left the Baptists and was working in a C&MA church when he died.