I MET ROGER chapter 176

When the time came to finally begin my major counseling assignment, I met Roger. Roger was looking for someone to talk to and friends referred him to me. I was excited as I would have a real person with real needs and not have to “pretend“ I was counseling.

I was looking forward to the opportunity to improve my skills. Like so many ministers I knew I was working on answers as the client was still talking. I was beginning to understand that many clients did not come looking for answers as much as they needed someplace to get things off their chests. I needed to learn to listen more carefully. This could work out well,

I learned a bit about Roger from the friends who referred him to me, but I wanted to learn most of what I needed to know directly from him.

I liked him right away. It was quickly obvious that he was going to be extremely honest and he wanted help. After listening to his story on day one, I was struck with fear. Was I really the one to help this man? His concerns were beyond anything I understood.

Roger’s wife attended the church in the past and had often asked prayer for his conversion. She was certainly sincere. From her point of view, their marriage was a shambles. She loved him and wanted him back. By the time Roger and I connected, he had already come to know the Lord and was in the beginning stages of putting a tragic alternative lifestyle behind him and marching forward with God.

It was like he and his wife were trading places. She was moving away from God, as he was moving toward God. She appeared to be moving into the lifestyle he was leaving. As I listened to his story I wanted to weep. After all those prayers for him to leave his old life and turn to God – which had happened – now she was leaving God. It didn’t make sense. It seemed like once he had made his commitment, he was becoming the focus of attention and she was slipping into the background. She may have felt like he value was somewhat lost.

He loved her and felt a responsibility toward her for sticking with him through his foolishness. He considered it his turn to stick with her.

I could barely write what I was hearing. I was so emotionally broken. I did make an appointment with Norm Wright to talk about Rogers concerns. Right or wrong, my heart told me the situation would never be worked out. That caused me to struggle with my faith. How could I believe in an all-powerful God who could change the lives of anyone and not believe this couple could be healed and their relationship restored? It felt impossible.

Norm helped me get a handle on how to proceed. I began to encourage Roger to follow his heart. We prayed at every session for his wife and the restoration of their relationship. Meanwhile, Roger continued to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus and his compassion for his wife got stronger.

While I was completing my assignment as requested, my time with Roger became much more friend to friend. I was able to give him some direction, and he was getting his fears and frustrations off his chest. He was also beginning to believe he had lost his wife and there would be no restoration. He never hated her. He was never mad at her choices. He felt like he had put her through hell far too many years and he was going to stand by her through her terrible choices. I admired him.

His decisions caused me to evaluate my own life. I did not think I could do the same thing if our places were reversed. I admired his faith and strength. We decided to end the weekly sessions together after about four months. The assignment portion of these sessions had been over for some time. I believe I was of some assistant to Roger, but he helped change my counseling approach and even how to view those who come for counseling. God loves us all.

THE NEIGHBORHOOD chapter 175

While the house had ugly interior colors, it was laid out very nice. Of course, I didn’t help maintain the beauty much. I was walking through the living room with the fast going out of style rust-orange shag carpet when I tripped over one of the kids toys and went sprawling across the living room floor spilling the open bottle of bleach I was carrying to the bathroom. Wouldn’t you know it, it splattered in a three-foot circle in the middle of the living room floor. No amount of speed stopped the discoloration growing by the second. All I could do was stand there and watch calling Della and saying, “You will never guess what I just did.”  She came running from the laundry and gasped when she came through the kitchen door. By the time she arrived that spot was gray-white. So was the t-shirt I was wearing. Being the smart aleck that I can be, I said, “I never did like that carpet.” Neither of us did, but it wasn’t our carpet. The house was rented. We still had more than another year to live there when the accident occurred.

It was the professor’s wife to whom we reported house issues. I had to call and explain what happened. She said, “Just cover it up for now and we’ll figure it out when you move.” Great! We were now going to be hit with a big bill after graduation. Well, it was better than hitting us now, I thought.

The kids loved the neighborhood. There were plenty of preschool kids nearby to play with. A group of them got together to help out a neighbor when they heard an older kid saying that his dad really needed to wash his filthy car. His youngest son arranged the good deed. Five preschoolers had pans of water, a hose and some dirty rags to clean the car.

We knew nothing about it until the neighbor girl, our babysitter, laughingly reported what was happening. By the time we were heading to the site the kids were walking back our way. “What were you doing?” Washing Tommy’s car.” It was Tommy’s dad’s car. “Is he home?” Tommy said he was sleeping on the sofa and they wanted to surprise him.

When we got to their house, we knew he was going to be surprised. The dirt was now spread in little circles all over the bottom half of the car. It would have looked better if just left alone. Mr. Gartner came outside shortly after we arrived, put his hand to his mouth and said, “What happened.” His son took the lead, “We wanted to surprise you.” I told him immediately that I would clean it up. But he laughed and said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just take it to the car wash.” He thanked the kids and said the next time they wanted to help, call him and he would help them,

We have always had cats. It was Della, not me. We had a beautiful pure white one in California who had one bright blue eye and one lighter that looked pink in some light. Rhonda loved that cat and would drag it around whenever she had the chance.

One day we were wondering where she went. All the neighborhood kids were across the street and she wasn’t there. We checked the back wall first. She wasn’t walking the wall. We went back out front and asked Rod if he had seen her. One of the kids immediately said, “She put her kitty in her buggy and took it for a walk.” “Where?” They pointed down the street leading out of the Crescent.

I took off running as fast as I could. As I looked down toward Knott’s Berry Farm, I could see her three blocks away standing at the street light on Western with her hands on her doll carriage. If she ever got across that street she would be at Knott’s. Running as fast as I could with Della trailing I know we were both praying, “Don’t cross that street.” As I got close I didn’t want to yell and startle her, but she looked ready to step off the curb. Traffic had slowed, but the light was still red. As calmly as I could I asked her where she was going, she turned to look at me and said, “To the merry-go-round.” She was going to take the cat for a ride. I don’t know how she expected to do that without money, but then she never paid for a ride so why would she need money.

When Della caught up and I explained what happened, she told her that we would go to Knott’s later. She was fine with that. I don’t think the hearts of either Della or I slowed down until we got home. Thankfully she could not figure out what she had to do to get across the street. Too many cars, she said. True enough.

About the cat! She never once tried to get out of the carriage and even stayed there for the ride back home. The cat amazed us that she laid in the bouncing carriage for the entire ride.

THE ELDERS chapter 174

As I drove back to the church I was very conflicted. Should I have ignored his behavior? Was it any of my business? Was I trying to bring down a man who I believed was entertaining, but not a good preacher? I considered everything I may have had against the man. I could come up with a fairly long list, but none enough to get him removed as pastor. He was well liked by most of the people. He was warm and friendly. He and I had little to do with one another and I would be leaving soon.

I knew he would not be at the church when I returned. I finished out the day and went to see one of the elders later that night. I had called Della to tell her what happened and that I would be home very later and why. I knew she would be praying for the meeting

I was tense that night. I didn’t really want to tell the elder what I had seen. I knew he and his wife would believe me. That was not the problem. Now they were going to be drawn into the whole mess. The matter was rapidly moving out of my hands.

The DS did contact the elders and set up a meeting at the District Office with them. Not all the elders knew what the meeting was about. Some did not know there was any accusation against their pastor.

The DS laid out the accusation without identifying me. It didn’t matter, as some already knew who I had started the ball rolling. Half believed the accusation and half did not. The meeting was tense. Suspicions were laid out. Facts were laid out. With the elder’s board split, the DS was troubled. The DS wanted absolute proof. Some wanted to hire a detective, but the DS was horrified at the thought. “We can’t do that to a pastor.” Two elders offered to pay for the detective. Still there was no agreement. How would they get absolute proof? Some through they had it with my observation.

The elders left with no decision or clear understanding of what would happen from that point on. Many were very frustrated.

The pastor continued as though nothing has every happened. Personally, I could not understand how he could hold his head as high as he did, but he looked terrific with not a look of guilt.

Complains continued to flow to the DS and he finally met with the pastor. No one knows what was said in that meeting. Several wondered if he was ever told of the accusation. The follow up was that several months later the pastor announced he had accepted a church in another part of the state.

The pastor’s knew something. She was angry and let a few know of her displeasure. She let some families know exactly what she thought of them. She made accusations directed at people she believed had a vendetta against her husband. It appeared that he had kept his wife in the dark and easily contained her so he could do what he wanted. She did not drive. It is virtually impossible to do anything or go anywhere in California without a car. He took her where she needed to go. He was virtually house bound.

It always felt like he was simply moved along. The real issue was never dealt with. A few of us were upset about that. I always felt bad that he was not stopped.

There is a follow up to this story that occurred several years later. This pastor served a couple of years in the South Pacific and then moved to Vancouver, BC. I never found out what he was doing in that city until much later, He was a shirttail relative of some people in the Tenth Avenue church. I was teaching at Canadian Bible College when I got a phone call at home from a close friend in Vancouver. She wanted to tell me what she had heard on the radio as she was driving to a fund raising for a para-church organization. He was in charge of that dinner. I had not given the man a single thought since leaving California. But this was hot news, or hot gossip, which ever.

Apparently the RDMP had broken up a sex ring of men with under age boys and girls. The ring consisted of two or three pastors and a couple of others. This pastor was named as part of the ring. The young hotshot reporter on the CBC had done some serious digging into the lives of all these men. The pastor had a history of intimate relationships with women in every city where he had served. This was the first any seemed to know of his involvement with underage youth.

He and the others were convicted and went to prison.

Rather than making me happy, I was heart broken. He was a talented man who had drifted a long way from his calling. My heart broke for his wife who always considered herself lucky to be married to him and never believed the accusations. My prayers went out to her. To my knowledge they had no children.

I WENT TO WORK EARLY chapter 173

I wasn’t quit sure what I was going to do when my one o’clock class was canceled. I had a break for lunch before that canceled class. I really needed to get into the library, so found a quiet spot to eat and study until 2:00 when I usually left for the church.

While eating and attempting to read a book, I remembered what the gentleman across the street from the church had told me, “You should come early.” I had dismissed him several times and really never gave it much thought, but I began to think maybe I should head for the church.

I had no idea why I was doing this. I wasn’t even sure what to expect. I was thinking and praying about it for the entire thirty minute drive to Long Beach. As I approached my destination, I thought if there was something to see it might be better if I parked in the hospital lot instead of right in front of the church. I was beginning to feel like a spy.

I pulled into the far driveway and chose the fourth row to look for a place to park. The lot was pretty full as it often was during the day. I was driving slowly when I noticed a couple on my left. It looked like they were saying their goodbyes. They were in a deep embrace and a passionate kiss. The woman’s back was to me as I passed, but the man was face on and it was the pastor and the woman was not his wife. It was a parishioner he was supposedly counseling. At that moment I doubted he was being very helpful. As I passed by them, the pastor looked right at me. Our eyes made contact.  He continued what he was doing without the slightest hint of embarrassment.

I was less surprised by what he was doing than how he responded. He didn’t seem to care one bit that I saw them.

I pulled on through the parking lot trying to decide what to do. About two blocks way I decided I would drive straight over to the district office in Fullerton and report what I saw. My reasoning was I was not the one to deal with this. It was his job.

After entering the district office I told the secretary that I needed to see the District Superintendent. It was important.

This was my first opportunity to even meet the DS. I didn’t know how he was going to respond or if he would believe me.

I got in quickly, introduced myself and told him my story. That is when the shock came.

“That pastor is a well respected man in our district. He serves on the District Executive Committee and pastors the largest church in the district. You on the other hand have a history of causing problems. You are an angry young man. I have a letter here from the DS in Calgary detailing your action’s while at Canadian Bible College, and his displeasure that you were hired in Vancouver and warning me about you coming to our area. Why should I believe you?”

Well, that pretty well said it all. Nothing I just said was going to have any impact at all. I attempted to defend myself for a few minutes until I realized it was useless. He told me I should not be making this kind of accusation when I would be leaving in less that a year. I would be ruining the reputation of one of the leading pastors.

I told him that there were elders who have had suspicions about his extra marital affairs for sometime and I believed that one reason they hired me was in hopes of finally knowing for sure by being caught in the act. I was told many pastors hug parishioners and I did not need to add imagination to the facts.

I encouraged him to contact the elders for a meeting.  I didn’t want to come across as ordering him to do anything but I hoped he would contact the elders to meet with them and get their insights. He told me he would decide what to do and that I was to remain out of the picture.

I left knowing I could not remain out of the mess completely. After all, I saw him and he saw me in that parking lot. If anything came out of my meeting with the DS, he would know it started with me. I was OK with that but I also doubted this was going to go any further. It was dead in the water.

TWO MENTORS chapter 172

I became friends with both Norm Wakefield, my primary Christian Education professor and to a lesser degree, Norm Wright, my counseling professor. Norm Wright had our whole class in his home where we got to know him and his family and learn something of the trauma in his own life. They were rearing a child with special needs. Their story was emotionally touching.

Norm Wakefield probably should have ignored me since I pursued a relationship with him with a passion, I started visiting in his office and then Della and I were invited to his home on three occasions for dinner. He intrigued me. He was not teaching methodology, nor was he pouring out ideas and procedures to guarantee our success as pastors. It took time for me to discover that he was trying to teach us to think.

I remember the asking about his own philosophy and he asked what I thought it was. I told him he was not teaching methodology. There were no program ideas to write down. He believed that all of us minister most effectively out of our own lives. Who we are and how we relate is our most effective tool.

He asked what it was we were to teach. The Bible. What relationship are trying to communicate. One with Jesus! We talked about the primary teaching approach of Jesus with His use of questions. He assigned the study of Jesus methodology as a paper. Norm was an expert at bringing out the best with questions. Every class began with questions.

He instructed me to be an avid reader in our field of study. That built a strong foundation. To prepare to teach, he would write out eight to ten questions to begin each. It initiated discussion that often led full exploration of the subject. He did not ignore content and he passed along much from some of the best writers in the field. He introduced me to Larry Richards whose books were all philosophy oriented. Every book I had read prior to his class was methodology. Frankly it got boring after a few books.

That made sense to me. His style affected my own. I don’t know if I could have taught without this contact. We talked ideas, beliefs and attitudes. I was in awe.

The pastor I worked with or for – if indeed either of those statements were true was a complete enigma. Who was he? What was he about? From time to time board members and even some of the parishioners asked me strange questions about him. Had I been in his office? Did I know what was in her desk drawers? Had I ever smelled his breath? What did it smell like? That was weird, real weird. The questions did not come all at once, but were spread out far enough that I never found a connection. They all seemed directed at his habits.

I met with some people I could trust to try and figure out the concern being expressed. Apparently he had been accused of smoking and drinking. There were questions because the accuser was not deemed credible so they wanted to know if I had ever noticed anything. Eventually I learned of rumors that he might be with some women. Huh! What was I to do about that? Become a private eye!

Honestly, I was never with him long enough or standing close enough to notice anything like that. He always smelled of breath mints as far as I was concerned.

There was an older gentleman living directly across the street from the church. From time to time he would come along side me and almost whisper, “You should come earlier on Tuesdays.” I would ask why and he would say, “Just come earlier.”

I dismissed his comments with a laugh. Besides, I came immediately after my last class and could not come sooner.

But one day, that one o’clock class was canceled.

A YEAR OF PLAY chapter 171

Several in the church felt sorry for our need to have boarders and the church raised our salary by the amount the boarders paid to deliver Della from that burden What a great gift for her. We both appreciated it.

Canadians began to arrive now that we had room to house them. We loved having them. It specially gave Della a connection with old friends. I wasn’t always available. Since all of our guests visited Disneyland during their stay, we were always left with a few ride tickets when they left. In those days ride tickets were lettered. The best rides were “E” tickets. We didn’t get very many of those, but there were always plenty of tickets for the less exciting rides. That was fine. Our kids were preschoolers and they loved all of them. We had so many of those we couldn’t use them all. Near the end of out stay we treated them to the big, fast rides. I’m glad we didn’t do that sooner. They liked those the best.

We got into Disney many times on someone else’s dime. Some guests paid our way. People from the church passed us their company party tickets and we went both years to the Greater Los Angeles Christian Education Disney party. All I remember is that we were there a lot.

Our neighbors were an older couple who both worked at Knott’s Berry Farm. That company held a party for their employees every year. All the food and drinks were free. The big wigs ran the rides and served the food while the grunts had a great time. In out last year, the neighbors could not go and they gave us four tickets. Take the kids or not? Big decision. We got a babysitter and called high school friends Tom and Betty Chase  who lived near and spend the evening on the log ride (at least 20 times) and drinking Boysenberry juice. Loved that stuff. We would get off the log ride and turn right around and get back on again. In the seventies it was the best ride they had.

There was more than deer at Deer Park

Also Deer Park. Della's mother is nearly cut off on the far left.
You can see deer in the back.

Faith gave our family season tickets to Deer Park. It was a very nice, kid friendly park near our house. Della often took the kids. There was a petting zoo with deer; a porpoise show and plenty for the kids to do including staff led crafts for the kids. They would have been content to go there everyday. Repetition – preschoolers love it.

Knott's Jungle Island

We managed to squeeze in a few visits to Knott’s Jungle Island. There were no rides, but plenty of places to explore for kids. Since we passed that entrance when going to feed the ducks and ride the merry-go-round the kids always asked to go there.

We ate many a meal at Mrs. Knott’s country fried chicken kitchen. Loved that meal. We went a few times with people from the church and also with several of our visitors.

Della and the kids fell in love with tacos while in the area. We had never had Mexican food of any kind before. There was a Taco Time near us that was walking distance. The hard part was getting across Lincoln Blvd.

Jungle Island

I wish I still had our blessing book. It would be fun to count up how often we went to tourist attractions and ate at great restaurants. It was clearly enough to feel like we were on vacation.

We could drive straight down Beach Blvd. to be at Huntington Beach. The kids loved playing in the sand at ocean. Our last summer there we decided we Rodney would take swimming lessons. There was a pool near by so we took him over thinking he would love it. Wrong. He hated it and screamed bloody murder the first day. By the second day he was fine.

Jungle Island

We knew he could scream. He had just begun a temper tantrum phase. We were in a large clothing store the first time Rod pulled that stunt on us. He wanted to have some item he saw. We said no. He screamed. We walked away. When he noticed we were not around he stopped screaming. When he stopped we went back to him. “Where did you go?” he said. We left because you were screaming. “Oh!” He never did it again.

However, he did scare us dreadfully while at a large mall. We were in a Hallmark Store where he sat on the floor to read some books. We were right beside him looking at cards. When we turned back toward him he was gone. We panicked. We could not find him in or near the store. We contacted security to get all the help we could. People were looking everywhere. We had no idea where to look and naturally feared the worse. About 40 minutes later I thought maybe we should check where we parked the car. There he was leaning against the car waiting for us. “I couldn’t find you so I came to the car to wait.” All we did was hug him with thanks that he was safe and found.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED chapter 170

I’ve turned my blog over to some friends in the past and this time specifically asked Dale to correct some of my assumptions about his and Ron's surprise visit. Thanks Dale.

As far as the blog post, Ron and I visited you in August of 1973. 

Prior to the surprise in the middle of the night, we had stayed a few nights with you.  (Now I remember. That was when we did most of the sightseeing. Your arrival in the summer meant I had time to get out and play with you guys.) We left your house and took off hitchhiking for San Francisco.  We only got to Bakersfield and found we were not having much success in getting rides so decided to return to your home. We had only 2 people stop to pick us up.  One offered to take only one of us.  Not sure how that would have turned out.  The other that we took a ride with had a gun on his hip.  After he picked us up he turned to us and said “ now you boys aren’t going to try and do something funny on me are you?” (When things like this happen and you know that boys it makes you laugh. They could not have picked up two easier going and pleasant guys.)

Knott’s Berry Farm was a wonderful place you exposed us to.  I remember going to So Cal in 1983 with my wife and telling her about our time at Knott’s and how I felt it was more special than Disneyland. (Knott’s was just different then. It is now a little more Disneyfied. I think we also took them for Mrs. Knott’s famous chicken fried dinner. It was terrific in the 70’s. I revisited with my family in the 90’s and the meal disappointed. Too bad! It used to be jam-packed.

One of the other things we did with you was after our day at Universal Studios.  A walk around the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre area to see the imprints of the stars hands in the sidewalk.  We also drove around trying to find the homes of famous Hollywood personalities.  We stopped in front of a house that I believe you said was Lucille Balls and I got out of the car, ran onto the lawn and scooped up some leaves.  I was a great day; my highlight was seeing you act in the Adam 12 play at Universal. (We bought one of those cheesy “where the stars lived maps.” Don’t remember the stars house for sure. I know we went in Lucille Ball’s dressing cottage at Universal. In those days you got off the tram and walked through her dressing room and on to a sound stage. I liked it better than just the exterior drive now available)

As I am now a little older, perhaps a little more mature; I am very appreciative of the time you gave Ron and I, the hospitality extended by you and Della.  You had a lot on your plate and yet gave so much. Thank you for making our visit so great.  Am I correct in thinking that Ron gave you a cheesy velvet painting as a thank you for your hospitality? (Yes! Della taught me long time before that to learn to accept any gift with grace. However, we didn’t keep it long. It never made the return trip to Canada. It was the thought that counts. Besides, we loved hanging out with you two. How could I deny anyone from a former youth group.)

I know Ron bought at least one of the velvet paintings.  Ron and I took a trip to Tijuana.  We had the wonderful privilege of staying in a noisy hotel on one of the main streets that we paid $7 for the night.  I remember our purchases.  I bought a white shirt with some crazy red embroidery and a denim shirt with embroidery, sandals with old tires used for the sole, a cheap leather coat.  Ron brought at least one velvet painting, but I think it may have been two, one for him and one for you.  Quite a gift for someone like yourself who is so artistically inclined?  Ron also bought a switchblade.  I was a little concerned but he did get it through the border. (I don’t remember the picture, but all the velvet paintings reminded me of Elvis – he was on so many of them.)

I watched the video of you preaching last night. It touched me.  Thanks for being open and honest.  Sometimes it seems like this faith journey is so easy for others and yet perhaps you are showing what most of us go through in our walk with the Lord to a greater or lesser degree.

One of my friends on Facebook asked about a comment I posted about my gratitude to be preaching again. In the message I mentioned my long drift from God and my journey back. I was simply responding to a question, not promoting the video. Frankly, I wasn’t so sure I wanted old friends to see the tape. I, like so many people, have attempted to hide that phase of my life. I am embarrassed and ashamed of how I was. In the video I am preaching in a tiny church two blocks from where I live. Since the church only seats about 120, they have three services. The church views itself as a spiritual hospital – a term I love - and has a dynamic outreach to addicts of all types. It was thorough this church that I made my journey back to Jesus. I do not preach regularly, but this was my fourth occasion to fill in for the pastor while he was away. I consider it a privilege. I never expected to ever have a public ministry again. I did not believe I deserved that opportunity.

I now attend a recovery group as God continues His healing. I love being with the others and sharing the raw emotions, struggles and victories we share. The group has taught me much. I never handled the suicide death of my son very well. I coped for years and then began to fall apart making mistake after mistake – sin after sin. The message only alludes to some of that. I don’t know which service is online. I shared more in one of the three than I did in the other two.

I attend the group to understand and deal with Rods addiction and decision to end his life. Also, I have never got hold of my sugar addiction issues and it is causing several serious health problems. I am paying for my lack of taking the issue seriously. I am grateful God always welcomes us back.

I’m not absolutely sure I should do this, but the message can be found at: www. lwcc.net/. The title is Ordinary People and the date is 10/21/112. I do subtitle this "confession of the recovering sinner."

ALL SHOOK UP chapter 169

While we still had the girls living with us, Canadians began to show up because they wanted to “visit us.” I don’t want to question their motives, but if they wanted to see us why did they spend their days at Disneyland?

We were never deceived. We lived very close to the hottest tourist attraction in southern California – Mickey’s House. While few Canadians had ever heard of Knott’s Berry Farm, most ended up taking that in along with Universal Studios. It was a good thing they took off for most of the day, I have very little time for visiting and with the number of people coming, we could not afford to feed them three meals a day. As it was, we usually only had them for breakfast and usually only saw them about 10-11 o’clock at night.

A couple of our earliest guests arrived unannounced. It was the middle of the night, Maybe 3:00 a.m. when we heard the kind of knock on our door that makes you jump and feel like something terrible had happened. Della was startled and I flew out of bed and ran into the living room. I could see flashing lights through the curtains. I decided I really needed to put pants on before opening the door. The knocking continued. With some fear I returned to the front door, opened it and was confronted with two policemen who had flashlights pointing in my eyes. I couldn’t see anything.

“Are you Clyde Walker?” It couldn’t have been me they really wanted I had done nothing that would draw the police. “Yes, is something wrong?” “Do you know these people?” One of the officers stepped aside and turned his flashlight on two very nervous looking guys. Ron Hoskyn and Dale Klassen were standing down the steps like two kids caught with the hands in the cookie jar.

When I saw the guys the temptation to say “No,” was overwhelming. How did they get there? More importantly, why were the police standing with flashlight directed at the guys? What had they done? “Yes, I know them.”

“We needed to check on their story. A neighbor saw them getting into your car and called us because they believed they were trying to steal the car.” The boys said they had just crawled into it to get some sleep. I smiled and then broke into a small laugh. “Officer, I’ll take them in the house. Thank my neighbor for me.”

The guys were left in my charge. Since I had no cell to put them in, we sat in the living room. By that time, Della was up smiling and laughing. “What are you guys doing here?” “We just came to see the area and…” “Wait a minute, back up. How did you get here?” They had hitchhiked and did some walking. When they finally found the house it was late. Ron was depending on his memory for driving us to Buena Park. They considered sleeping in the backyard, but it was colder than they expected. When they found my car unlocked and decided to sleep inside – it would be warmed.

They were right about that. Even though we were pretty far from the ocean, the nights were cool. We were up for a while longer. Della wanted to make sure they had eaten. They were hungry. Naturally, they were teens. She fed them and we heard the whole story. We had no room for them, but grabbed some pillows and blankets and invited them to enjoy the floor.

Rodney found them sleeping the next morning and came in our room to tell us that Ron and some other man was in our living room. He wanted to watch cartoons and they were in the way. We convinced him to crawl into bed with us and in time we all fell back asleep, well Ron didn’t but he was pretty quiet.

The next morning Rhonda was contentedly playing in her room and didn’t know there were people in the living room. I can’t remember the time of year they came but we had time for the guys. These were two guests we were happy to have. It made for great stories.

I can’t remember what we did or even how long they stayed. But it was a very pleasant surprise. We probably took in the area and maybe even went to Disneyland. I know we went to Universal as Dale reminded me that I had a role in one of their quick little movies to demonstrate how films were made. I played a rescue worker and some guy was lying on the ground. Their plan was to cast as many tourists as possible into the scene and then try to sell them the film. I didn’t buy it. It wasn’t that good.

Yes, we were surprised, but pleased to have them. We have always loved having kids from our youth groups return for any reason. I told them the next time they come, knock on and we would let them in.

STARTING SEMINARY chapter 168

The homework was clearly heavier, more time consuming and deeper at Talbot Theological Seminary. It would take a all I could muster to stay on track. I was also starting my second year at the church and was getting more and more involved. There would be no time to let my mind wander.

My counseling classes were with Norman Wright, a prolific writer with several books under his belt. He loved to do role-play in class. He would set up a situation then select a counselor and a counselee. When he learned I have been in ministry I became his favorite student to be the counselor. Generally I felt like he was hoping I would mess up and he would have the opportunity to point out how someone with ministry experience still did not know how to work with a “client.”

Maybe I’m dreaming and he didn’t have me in front of the class 50% of the time, but I know I never got through a week without some counseling “opportunity” (his word, not mine).

Dr. H. Norm Wright

Even with what seemed like an attempt to embarrass me regularly I really liked him and learned a great deal. He was a good teacher. Part of out assignment was to be in a counseling situation on a weekly basis. It could be real or pretend. I found a real situation that lasted an entire semester.

The purpose of the assignment was not necessarily to be an effective counselor – that would come. He wanted us to learn good listening skills. We were not to take notes during the session, but after the session we were to write out the complete session word for word as best we could. He was teaching listening and recall. That did me a world of good.

Dr. Norm Wakefield

My primary Christian Education professor was Dr. Norman Wakefield. I didn’t know what to think of him in my first few classes. He walked into class, sat on the table at the front and ask questions most of the time. I could not figure it out. He lectured at times, but never for the entire class. He was huge on interaction. As the class would banter the question about, he filled in around our comments to complete that day’s subject.

Dr. Wakefield gave us the most unusual assignment I had ever had in any school. Make a model of your philosophy of Christian education. Our only text was the Bible. The presentation had to be visual. We could act it out, sing it, draw it, build it or do anything that would visualize what we believed. We were to incorporate a life verse reflecting our goals and values.

Every assignment I ever had prior to this class required writing. I see things in pictures, Finally an assignment that focused on how I approach learning. I always wrote what I saw. If I could not visualize the assignment I had difficulty.

As I watched and listened to him teaching, I began to think I might be able to teach, if I could figure how he was doing it.. He taught as Jesus taught— in parables with questions. Yet I learned more in that class than any I had sat through. I was so attracted to this man; I finally went to his office to learn more. I told him what I would be doing after graduation and asked (read begged) for his help.I had to know what made this man tick.

BEGINNING TALBOT chapter 167

In late June of ’73 I graduated from Biola and that September I walked to the front of the campus to register at Talbot Theological Seminary. In selecting classes and paying out nearly the last of our saving I was excited but extremely nervous. I had been praying that God would open a door, change me or do whatever was necessary to let me know that I could teach. Very little happened at Biola that gave me much hope. I got the BA degree necessary to move on for a Master’s. That was step one.

Before leaving Biola completely I need to acknowledge Dr. Bill Bynum, Biola’s chairman of the Christian Education department, who opened his office and files to me to copy anything I might need. We talked a great deal and he helped me appreciate the value of the knowledge. I admit my focus was so much on learning to teach that the knowledge was losing focus. He encouraged me not to worry about memorizing and simply learn to absorb. He encouraged me to “feel” deeply about my subject. — Relax! I considered  his suggestion rather strange, but it was exactly what I needed. I still wasn’t sure how this would help me teach, but it made attending classes a lot more fun.

While waiting in line to get all the paper work completed I was reflecting on my BA classes. I appreciated being exposed to some of Southern California’s popular youth pastors. One of the guys with the largest youth group in the area actually taught the youth class. I entered that course with great enthusiasm but was quickly disappointed. As successful as he was with youth, he failed as a teacher. He stayed closely to a textbook he required and came to closest to simply reading each chapter to the class as any teacher I had ever had.

He and I were very close to the same age so, facing the issue where angels would fear to tread, I decided to approach him on the subject. I took him to coffee where we talked about teaching in general and moved toward his class specifically. He had never taught on this level before and was a nervous wreck. My heart went out to him. I wondered if that would be my own fate. I learned more about his ministry and how he did want he did at that coffee meeting than any of his classes. I encouraged him to share his experiences. We wanted to know him. We wanted to know what he was doing to attract so many youth and how on earth he could hold their attention and manage a group of nearly one thousand. He loosened up a bit but held on to his obligation to teach (read) the text. At least I got some of what I wanted in the class.

It was much easier to register at the seminary. No one asked me to get a hair cut and I had let it grow back to the length it was a year earlier.  My hair was never that long. It never reached my collar. It was considered long because it was over my ears.

After getting my schedule I wondered how I was going to keep my promise to my wife to be a husband and father who was present. There was a requirement to attend chapel but I needed that time to study so I did not take so much work home. I had only one break between classes three days a week. Fortunately it was immediately after chapel and you could miss chapel if you did not have a class right before or after chapel.  The library was always locked during chapel so I plopped myself into a small lounge area. My undergrad degrees allowed me to focus heavily on Christian Education classes. I also loaded up on counseling classes as a minor. Greek was gone and I took all the required classes in Bible and theology which were also reduced because of my under graduate studies

WHILE AT ST PAUL chapter 166

The South Pacific District quiz team was made up of John, Jim, Richard and Bonnie from the Long Beach Church.

Paraphrased comments from a SPD quizzer:

The uniform was a blue short sleeve his/her knit shirt. They have a photo of me (Clyde) in the same shirt, but wearing a Canadian hat. I must have had mixed loyalties, Maybe! But I put that hat on after the South Pacific team was eliminated. There were some CMD quizzers that I had connection with. I still felt connected to Canada and was planning to go back in another year. Sorry!

The quizzer has a picture of "Bert the man that ran the quiz seats and score board. Also one of Richard Mehl and an Asian American (from Rosemont CA) holding out their arms towards Bert's hearse - in the back it reads "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church". He hauled all his equipment around in that hearse.

 Another picture shows a blond Caucasian, slight build, shorter - also in our uniform.  He, Bonnie, and Richard are sitting in front of a green-board that says (in white chalk) "SLOW DOWN".  I recall that was your advice to the team. Perhaps that young teen was also from Rosemont CA?

PS errors were killing us.

While in St. Paul I spent time with Dan Rinker, the International Youth Director, It was at competitions in 1970 when Dan first approached me about writing a manual for quiz coaches. I just didn’t see myself as a writer. But he thought I could do it because I had just won our second International Quiz Championship in a row. I also had a tremendous amount of input regarding the rules. He hit me up again to tackle the project after we won out third International Quiz Championship in 1971. By then I was also getting the occasional letter on the subject

Dan brought this issue up again at LIFE in ’72. I put him off then since I did not have a quiz team. He didn’t care. My name was becoming synonymous with C&MA quizzing and he believed I had the experience and authority to write to book. I hemmed and hawed and never gave an answer. So when He approached me at the 1973 championships we talked seriously about how that might be accomplished.

By that time I was trying to figure out how to kill two birds with one stone. To get my masters, that I would begin that fall, I was going to have to write a thesis. We talked about the possibly of my thesis being a manual for Bible Quizzing. I really didn’t know if it could be done. I didn’t know how they would respond to a thesis based on Bible Quizzing. I would have a challenge trying to prove the primary focus was Bible knowledge and application above competition. We talked about things that should be included and I promised I would try to tackle it. Besides, I had no other idea for a thesis.

I also spent time with Dr. David Rambo, then president of Canadian Bible College. I would be joining a Christian Education staff as the third member of the team. Bob Rose was chairman of the department and the other member was Norma Bailey. We discussed possible courses I could teach and how I might fit in. I was open to anything. The only thing for sure was that I would teach Youth Ministry. I got more and more excited as we talked, but still wondered if I had the ability to teach at all. I did not share that fear with Dave.

I did not discuss any of these things with the SPD quiz team. However, I shared some with Bill and Faith. They knew I was returning to CBC when my education was completed. The whole church knew our plans, but there was no point dragging my hopes and reams in front of the kids. Della and I still wanted to be all there until we left.

SOUTH PACIFIC QUIZZING 1973 chapter 165

Since Bill and Faith connected with me through Bible quizzing, it was impossible to avoid some quizzing connection while I was in their church. And I was glad to do it. Having been out of the program for a year, it was good to be back.

I could not get to every practice, but went when I could. I taught them some new ways to practice to make their weekly meetings a little more fun. I went with the team and the Rouses to the International Competitions in 1973. I read the report of the competitions in Alliance Life, Oct. 10, page 24-26.

The competition was once again held at St. Paul Bible College where Dr. David Rambo was the primary speaker. It was great to see him and get connected, as he would be my boss in one more year. The meet was his first experience and he said, “I can’t believe the who-o-ole thing.”

Dan Rinker wrote: “The caliber of quizzing we witnessed at the finals this year created cxcitemen1 hard to top. By comparison, the Minnesota Twins game, which all of us attended Saturday afternoon. Was pretty drab. But an after-game event made up for it. By prearrangement Al Worthington,

Jim Kaat and Jerry Turrell shared with us their faith in Christ. Jim Kaat, as you know, is a Twins pitcher. He had, in fact, pitched the game we just saw. Al Worthington is a pitching coach for the Twins. And Jerry Turrell is a rookie utility infielder. Each of them spoke enthusiastically of how Christ related to their lives and used them both on and off the field.

This year brought together some 125 persons for what proved to be the greatest demonstration of Bible quizzing in living memory. We got our first idea of what the competition was going to he like early Thursday morning. A three-way quiz between South Pacific, Pacific Northwest and Rocky Mountain was finally settled on the twentieth and final question by Rocky Mountain when the tie score was broken with a ten-point error deduction against Jim Kingsley of South Pacific.”

South Pacific did not win but they set the tone for what Dan Rinker called the most exciting championship quiz ever. Here’s his description of that meet.

“With Eastern. Western and Northwestern in the finals, it proved to be a super exciting contest. Western easily won the first quiz. But that left Northwestern and Eastern tied at the end of the twentieth question. In a five question over time Jennifer did her thing, answering two of the five questions.

But Eastern took the other three questions for an undisputed second place win. And then Northwestern went on to win the second quiz with ease. Thus Eastern had to come hack and win the third quiz or it was all over.

On the twentieth question in that quiz Western and Northwestern were tied. 11O points each. Eastern appeared to he out with only 90. But Steve Reihsomc. A veteran of two previous years of championship competition got the jump for Eastern on the twentieth question to throw the qui7 into a three-way tie. Then in the five-question overtime with help from Steve's teammates, Eastern went on to win the quiz.”

Bible quizzing was a big deal in the South Pacific and it was fun to be part of it for a couple of years. 1974 comes up next.

YOUTH CONNECTION chapter 164

Working with youth in Long Beach was dramatically different that any Canadian group. I always thought the weather made the difference. The cold weather in the north and the limited places to go for entertainment drove kids inside for creative connections while the warm weather and massively available places to go for entertainment dominated southern California and seemed to call teens to come spend money. I was glad the bulk of programming responsibility fell on the shoulders of others. I just wanted to gather in a house, get to known them and hang out. That didn’t happen much.

Della and I had some input on a Christmas activity that was a smash hit. We had used this activity many times including while students at CBC.

Known and recognizable people were to disguise themselves and spend an hour walking around a crowded shopping area and the teens were to try and call them out. We chose Knott’s Berry Farm as the shopping area. We convinced 12-18 adults to disguise themselves and go shopping. The difficult part for teens was that when they thought they recognized someone they were to approach and ask, “Will you marry me?”  The response would be yes. If right, they were happy. If wrong, they were embarrassed – I think.

The kids did a great job but missed identifying Della. She was only slightly disguised, but she took the young neighbor girl with her and they were holding hands. No one expected any of the adults to be with a child. After an hour everyone was to return to the chu8rch for food and laughs. That was fun.

In time I figured out what the natives liked and tried to fit in.

I got connected to a young man with a learner’s permit and no one to take him out to practice driving. I think it was Curt, but am not sure any more. We hung out on several Tuesday’s after school to help get him geared up for trying for his license.

I went to some quiz practices, but most of that happened in the summer after school. At that time I was trying to get them ready for International Championships.

Here’s a note from one of those quizzers that nailed an issue that still haunted me. I was working on it, but obviously it wasn’t completely under control.

“I recall practicing quiz in a room in the Long Beach C&MA, upstairs, with multiple patches of carpet on the floor.  We had our own electronic system on the chairs. 

I recall you losing your temper once with John Kiehl, who had developed a method of jumping that was legal locally, but not nationally (or something like that).  John shrugged off your suggestion that he jump within the national standards, and you exploded in anger.  

A time later, you told me how that you use to be always angry, and how much God had changed you from a state of being often explosive and angry.  Sooo, I watched you carefully... to see if this was true, that God could change people.   I recall being impressed at how you controlled your temper over and over again... and that became evidence (in my mind) that God really could change someone for the better.”

The memories of others always come back to haunt us. I am glad I at least improved.

My biggest single frustration came when a group returned from a class at Melody Land where they had learned to speak in tongues. “You what?” If I did not explode at that point God had to be in control. You cannot learn to speak in tongues it is a gift God gives to whomever He chooses. No one “learns” gifts. You receive them.

No amount of talking convinced any one of them that they did not know how to speak in tongues. One of them demonstrated their “gift” to my utter and flabbergasted amazement. It was all about learning to say certain praise words over and over until you lost control. We used to do that as neighborhood kids when we repeated various phrases until we got them all mixed up. The difference was we all began to a laugh when we got mixed up.

These kids joked a lot and I am hoping their whole story was a set up. If so they got me and I never did learn if it was a joke.

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL chapter 163

     I don't know how this happened, but I found quiz team photos of the Saskatoon teams from 1967, 1969, 1970 and 1971. They can be found added to chapters 111, 119, 120 and 121. I knew I had them. I could see them in my mind, but that is very hard to scan into a computer.

Nobody did Vacation Bible School like Long Beach C&MA. I really should have someone else write this chapter as I was on the outside looking in. But what I saw was terrific,

It seemed everyone in the church pitched in to make this work. People took vacation time just to be part of it. Neighbors came along and volunteered. Attendance was double the size of the church. Ever tiny little space was used.

The program was for kindergarten through junior high. As soon as kids left junior high they came right back as volunteers. The planning for the following year would begin almost immediately after the last one was completed.

They often used a typical VBS curriculum, but that was only the foundation. From there teachers took off and make the teaching their own. I know I was involved both summers I was there, but not as a leader – as a teacher. The year I remember was the second one when I led the junior high group.

What a terrific group. I had gotten to know many of them and saw they had a huge interest in movies. Super 8 cameras were all the rage and there were a few kicking around in church families. I found some help for editing (some of the kids could do it themselves). The plan was to cover the foundation of the lesson the first day, have them write their script on day two, film and edit on day three and four and show the film on the last day of the program. They worked on this outside of pouring heart and soul into their projects.

The kids were divided into three groups (I guess we only had three cameras). There was an adult working with each group being there only for advice and to drive them to various locations for their scenes. They were there for editing help as well, but some didn’t use that.

I wish I would remember the subject matter. What I do recall is that each film was tackled with great enthusiasm and the thoughtfulness that went into their scripts hit the Scriptural concept right on the head.

To this day I remember with pride what these kids accomplished, and the films were terrific. I do wonder it anyone still has his or her film – not likely.

Two things in particular made this VBS unusual: 1) there were cool snacks. Not just a cracker and juice box, but food and thought went into that side of the equation. 2) The crafts were incredible. Prep work on crafts was done all year and each was age appropriate. These were crafts kids wanted to take home. The craft area was always buzzing with activity. I know the craft leaders were there early and stayed late to make sure everything was ready. Crafts were also the major draw for returning families and returning community volunteers.

ROUTINES chapter 162

I was never one to enjoy repetitive activities. I needed variety. I wanted to variety. I could not handle well the repetitions of life. That is why some of my life in California was a little strange. We developed some family routines. I really should say I developed them. It was me who needed to have the consistency for my family’s sake. Besides I made some promises to Della and I intended to keep them, as much as possible.

We lived about four blocks from Knott’s Berry Farm. Most Friday nights we walked down to see the same basic things over and over. Fortunately preschool kids love repetition and they looked forward to our near weekly excursions. We always started at the merry-go-round side of Beach Blvd where we first fed the ducks. Della would make sure there were a few slices of bread for each kid. They would tear off small pieces to make their slices last longer. When the bread was done and the ducks swam away it was time to ride the merry-go-round, we rode with them a few times at first and when we were sure they could survive the ride without us, they rode and we watched. The rides were ten cents each and by watching them we saved 20¢. Small, but important!

Finally we walked back to the shops. The cake decorating was their favorite. They liked watching the candy making but they were not always operating. We could lean over the fence to see people panning for gold. That was a bit boring, but we had to check it out anyway. Once seen, we left.

The night ended in the gift shop. There were always little things that interested the kids so we took our time. For some reason they seemed to understand they could look and briefly touch, but we could not buy.

They anticipated the ride home after Sunday night church. We always stopped at Longs drugstore for ice cream. The kids each got single scopes and Della and I had double scopes — 30¢. A great deal.

We spent many a late evening at the Rouses house talking until past time we should have gone home. It was not unusual to put the kids to bed there, and then scoop them up to go home. They loved uncle Bill and Auntie Faith and their house. Way more room than ours. They loved it when Debbie would play with them.

Bill and Faith ensured we would not be home bound. I think we spend every holiday at their place. The women who gathered kicked around the kitchen and living room constantly talking and the men sat in the family room watching sports. Between Bill, David, and rest of the men I think they knew the names and stats of every professional player on every pro sport in the LA area. I felt completely out of it and decided before we ever moved to that area that I would lay off sports. So I was ignorant.

I watched football while in Canada, and I followed the Saskatchewan Roughriders. One team, one season and I was done until the next year. I knew how many pro teams were in their area and knew if I got hooked on any my education might fly right out of the window. While we would sit and watch, I often had my mind in another place. I may have been mentally working on my next paper or contemplating some issue or other. Redeem the time, the Scriptures say. I always felt like I had no choice.

We were almost always at the Rouses or Stanwood’s for Sunday dinner. We usually stayed in Long Beach between services. That was a special blessing for us. It let the kids be somewhere else, Della to enjoy not making a meal (which helped our budget) and me to relax. We loved them and their friends who became our friends  These people made our stay unforgettable. 

THE VISIT chapter 161

I was only asked once to visit in the home of a former parishioner. Mr. Elker (not his name). His wife still attended, as did his son and daughter. The visit was not an order, but a request. I was never comfortable with cold calls, but I made an appointment.

Mr. Elker had regularly attended for several years and suddenly stopped for no apparent reason. None of the family members knew why any more than any of the church members. I was told he was a very friendly man.

One never knows what to expect when knocking on the door of a stranger, even when invited. This was a surprise.

“Well, finally. I was wondering when someone from the church was going to come calling! Come in.” I did not expect such enthusiasm. We introduced ourselves and I learned he had been a reporter for the Los Angeles Times. He knew to get to the heart of a story. He began with who was I, who sent me and why? I felt it best not to beat around the bush and to just be direct. I was sure he would respond to nothing less.

Before I answered he asked if I would like some coffee. I really didn’t but thought I should accept. I had not yet become a coffee drinker, but could handle it with cream and sugar. After being served I answered his questions.

The elders requested that I visit you to see if there was anything they could do to make it easier for you to return. He followed up with why didn’t the pastor come. I really didn’t know and had wondered that same thing. He was clearly disappointed and began to interrogate me. How long had I worked for the church? Who had hired me? What was my relationship to the pastor, the elders, and which specific elders. I did not sugar coat anything nor try to deceive him.

As suddenly as he began, he stopped and said, “Let me show you something.” He left the room and came back with a stack of small notebooks. He sat them on the coffee table and took the top one. “Because I was a reporter, I have always taken notes at everything I attend. These are the ones from that church.”  I didn’t like the way he said “that.”

      He started with the one on top, the most recent one from his last visits to the church. He rattled through the premise of the last couple of months of sermons. He noted the gist of the jokes, the single verse passage used and the point of the sermons. I paid careful attention trying to determine his point before he said it. He picked up the second and the third notebook and did the same page flipping and explanation. A picture was developing but I kept my mouth shut hoping he would ask me what I thought was his point.

When he stopped he said the point of every message was “Jesus loves me this I know.” There was no other focus. He said it was not a bad point, but it was the only point. He conceded that the pastor was a very good storyteller and could deliver a great joke, but he had nothing to say. “If the purpose of a pastor was to feed the sheep, where was the food? The man had preached the same sermon every Sunday since he arrived and only changed the verse, jokes and stories. There is no depth, no food and I think he is as phony as a three-dollar bill.

I did not want to report all that he said, but gave a brief summary and reported that he would not be returning. What I did was to begin listening to the sermons and ultimately came to the same conclusion. He was feeding the congregation the same pabulum every Sunday. What was going on/ He was the pastor of the largest district church and a member of the District Executive Committee (DEXCOM). Nothing was making sense, but something was askew. 

RELATIVE’S chapter 160

My father was the oldest of seven children. We visited many of them at Emporium, Kansas when I was young. After my early teen years, I had never seen any of them or heard anything about them. Then out of the blue I got a letter from my aunt Gladys then living in Van Nuys, CA. As it turned out, my mother also had a brother in the same area. I was surprised to learn about mom’s LA brother, since I thought there was only one – uncle Carl in Kansas. I could not dredge up a memory of uncle Clarence.

Because there had been no contact with any of my aunts and uncles for nearly twenty years, I was not expecting any to turn up in my life, but a letter came from my aunt Gladys. She wanted to see us and meet my family. I was surprised to learn that uncle dean was a pastor in a Baptist church in Van Nuys, CA. The letter requested that we call and make arrangements to come and have a meal with them.

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t know these people from a whole in the ground, Van Nuys was a long ways from where we lived in Buena Park, would our children be comfortable there, and most important – I didn’t want to go.

Della was always much wiser than I when assessing the right response to social situations and she felt we ought to go. “Ought to” was not strong enough. We needed to go and I should call and set up a date. I wanted her to call but she insisted that it was my relative and I should call. She didn’t know them at all. Well, neither did I, but I did call. We set a date for a Friday night and got directions.

Their house was nearly 40 miles away up I-5 through Los Angeles and onto the 101. It took over 1½ hour’s to get there. I felt like it was a mistake to make the trip and I hated the traffic. In the end we got a babysitter and did not take the children.

They lived in a very nice neighborhood and were very friendly and warmly receptive. The home was filled with delicate nick-knacks and certainly no place for preschoolers. They never had children of their own. Conversation was general and very pleasant. Gladys updated up on dads brothers and sisters. While we listened patiently I could not remember one from the other. My only real memory was of Uncle Leroy, the youngest. I had seen him in an army uniform giving his little dog beer and everyone laughing as the dog staggered around drunk. All I recalled confusion about why the dog could barely stand up. I only learned about the beer later.

First Baptist circa 1970

I learned that uncle Dean pastored a Baptist church only fourth blocks from the 6000 member First Baptist Church. His church was less than 200. I heard all about a ministry under the shadow of a giant. He was not happy.

At supper I learned the real reason for our visit. Gladys wanted to know why my dad never wrote her. How was I supposed to know? I did ask how she knew I was in that area. Apparently my mother wrote a brief note asking how close we were to them. Gladys told her very close. Right!

She went on and on about the failings of my father until I wanted to scream and run out of the house. She asked many questions I could not answer. It appeared that she believe I was holding out on her. But dad never talked about his siblings. Mom only mentioned that they were not close. I did not know why, but was getting a pretty good idea. I would have hide from her as well, and tried to after that.

We did not visit again and they never came to Buena Park. However we began a correspondence relationship that lasted about ten years, until her husband passed away.  He had left the Baptists and was working in a C&MA church when he died.