Sunday, April 29, 2012

TO BE OR NOT TO BE chapter 54


I loved the design part of my Architectural Drawing class. I think I was doing OK, as the instructor complimented my work from time to time. Of course, he may have done that to everyone. He did want clear math calculations with all work and I was hard pressed to give them to him. Somehow I was able to figure out the measurements correctly using addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, but he didn’t know how I did it. I wasn’t sure either, but it worked for me. I would sometimes go to sleep thinking about a problem and know how to fix it the next morning. Strange, eh! He wanted the correct algebraic figures. I was never able to do that. I just didn’t know how. By the second semester I was taking calculus and I washed out. It never made sense because I barely had a grasp of algebra.
He took the class on a tour of a unique five-bedroom five-car garage newly constructed mansion. The door and the covered entrance gave the house a church like appearance. It was wide and low, except for the entrance with a tall with a steeple like feature at the top of the vaulting roof-line. The entrance inside had a marble floor that lead to the right through the kitchen, laundry room and out to the paved and painted garage floor. The hall to the left lead to the bedrooms and the carpeted floor directly across from the entrance and five steps down was the living room and its hard wood floor and a river stone fireplace big enough to stand in. There was a tiered fountain that dripped to from the entrance, to the living room and all the way down to the basement. Next to the living room and back up five steps was the formal dining room and on toward the back of the house was a screened dining room. They considered the summer bugs of the Midwest.
Each of the four smaller bedrooms had its own bath and looked out on the expansive back yard and the large near Olympic sized swimming pool. The master bedroom was larger than most houses with separate his and hers dressing closets and a bathroom the size of a small apartment.
The basement featured a wet bar and TV viewing area. Through a door to the right was small lap swimming pool. A door to the right opened on a two-lane bowling alley. There were no pins or balls. The space looked lonely.
The house was spectacular, a vision of things to come. The man designed it for his wife, but she divorced him as the house neared completion. The children went with her. He no longer wanted to move into the house, but there it was: finished and empty, a tribute to opulence. We never heard the price, but it had to be outrageous.
This tour and some smaller ones only drove the desire deeper to succeed. We toured an architect’s office where the top dog told us what it took to become an architect. It was a crowded field at the time and one would most likely have to be willing to swept floors to get started. I could do that. I continued to love the class and the instructor continued to press me for mathematical details. I managed to put him off by getting it right occasionally. Neither of us knew how I did that.
One day during second semester he invited me to coffee in the student union. He was friendly and complimentary, but did not avoid the hard confrontation. He explained that architects were a dime a dozen. The field was over loaded. Then he said straight out that I would never make it. My math skills were too weak and I did not understand how to calculate stress. That would keep me doing house plans my whole life and the money was in the tall buildings. He told me I drew interesting house plans with exceptional work in kitchen design, but laying all schematics out so a builder could follow was not going well. He was very nice about the whole thing, but none-the-less my dream was shattered and the school year was soon to come to an end. What was I going to do now? I liked commercial art, but didn’t think I was creative enough to make it there. Besides, that felt like settling for second best. The manager of Kinney shoes was urging me to quit college and come to work fulltime. He felt like I could make a lot of money. There were weeks I did.
No goals, no dreams, no girlfriend, and no life I thought. I knew I could succeed at Kinney’s, but that would be the path of least resistance.  I felt like I had taken that road most of my life. I tended to do what fell into my lap. The architect dream was a challenge and one I lost. I just wasn’t up to it. Now what?

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