Wednesday, March 27, 2013

ALUMNUS OF THE YEAR chapter 246

I have always believed that the biggest joke perpetrated on Canadian Bible College was 1985 when they selected me as the Alumnus of the Year.
I’m not denying that things weren’t going well for me, they were. The Pacific Northwest District was recognized as one of the most aggressive districts in the field of Christian education. We had large a delegation to LIFE, I was now on the LIFE Committee at the program director, I was being asked to fly around the country to various training venues, our quiz team, while not National champs were doing well, we were aggressively hiring youth pastors in as many churches as could afford one and our newsletter was going all over the country being read by many national leaders. Things were going great from most people’s point of view.
What made me laugh was my history with the school. I almost got kicked out. They tried. The only thing that stopped them was I had not quite sinned enough.
Bill Russell was on the CBC Alumni Association and pushed my name through, and he wanted someone from the infamous years of deans as spies to be selected. No one who was actually kicked out was going to get through the selection system, but I had a hope. I had only been away from the school for five years. I was still remembered for The Portrait Players and Youth Conference and I was building a descent reputation in the USA as key player in Christian Education. My name had already been discussed as a possible CE representative on the national Board of Directors and I was the heir apparent as the next National Youth Director. I had a lot of what people want in an alumni selection.
What no one knew but Bill and I was that it was his joke on the school. If would have been pretty funny if we hadn’t recently begun a major conflict with our son. I had made some huge mistakes, was embarrassed by him and my actions were certainly questionable. I had had so many emotional conflicts that I was seriously considering resigning and the personal turmoil had cause me to cancel many speaking engagements. I had nothing to say and if I did, I didn’t want to say it. I was accepting engagements and canceling them after I published the travel calendar. I was keeping up appearances.
I had explained all this to Bill when he called to ask me to leave my name in the hat for consideration. I didn’t think I should, but Bill felt the time was ripe and he loved the idea of the conflicts I was in. Since I have had serious doubts about any real abilities most of the life (a childhood issue, no doubt) I left my name reasoning that no one in the right mind would vote for me anyway. I won, now what?
They flew me to Regina to accept the honor, and it was an honor, but I was struggling to even speak coherently. I had a descent opening but got lost after that and wandered aimlessly through the rest of my talk not knowing enough to shut up and sit down. I made many people regret selecting me. That was no my intention, just my state. I swear Bill had a sadistic streak as he thought the weekend was wonderful. It may have been tolerable, but it was far from wonderful.
I did get myself together by that summer.

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